On A Saturday Morning
By Arlene Garpne

       On Saturday morning, April 8, 2000, during the Rosser Rush 2000, five of the lovely courageous and fascinating ladies of the Southern High Rollers 4x4 Club heritage fled from the scene of the Scramblers, CJ’s, YJ’s, and TJ’s and buzzed over to downtown Hot Springs. Their goal was to enjoy the rippling, bubbling, and blurbing of the hot, healing, and heavenly waters of the local bathhouse. Athena and Aphrodite would have looked at them with envy in their eyes.

         The Buckstaff Bathhouse has been operating the refreshing, relaxing, and rejuvenating premises, since 1912, and the Buckstaff personnel knew just how to treat 5 female survivors of the 4x4 trails. They were determined to make these lovely ladies even more gorgeous.

         First, the ladies were ceremoniously dunked into the churning mineral water in old-fashioned white enamel bathtubs. They felt as though they were being boiled like lobsters in pots.

         Then they were asked to sit inside of a cubelike sweatbox. The women were steamed like clams and tried to smile with heads only sticking out of the hot oven-like contraption.

         Next they were laid upon cots and wrapped in boiling hot towels. They were asked to stay and wait. As the women relaxed, closed their, and began to snooze, an ice cold wet towel was suddenly slapped on their foreheads and startled them immensely. However, no one said a word, they did not want to appear as though they were novices who did not know what to expect.

          Finally, stumbling ever so slightly as they were dismissed from the cots they wrapped themselves in white terry cloth bath sheets and walked barefooted into an inner chamber where curtains separated them from 3 full-body massage rooms for which they patiently and in self-conscious silence.

          The ladies went in one at a time and observed the female massage lady. After she gave instructions as to how to lie on the table comfortably, she began rubbing and stroking every stress-ridden muscle in their trembling and bashful bodies with hot soothing oils.

          When the Fancy Five emerged from a marvelous morning of pampering they were feeling stress free, relaxed, and rejuvenated. Their female frames were enriched, enhanced, and enveloped with a vibrant glow of youth and loveliness.

         In fact, that very evening one of the fabulous five’s husbands reported that he could not locate his wife. He had come to the raffle at the KOA park that evening and was disappointed that she had not returned from her day at the Spa “The heart of Hot Springs”  “Where can she be?” he pleaded.

         I knew, however, that she was there; she had become so glowingly adorable from the relaxing waters of the spa, that for a while, he could not recognize her.